In honor of the start of the 2010 MLB season I’m counting down my favorite baseball “Rejected Memories” that we’ve done.

#1

Rejected Yankee Stadium Memories – Red Sox Fans

FAVORITE PART – “… there was piss everywhere…” You get the feeling this guy has been oblivious to every awful thing he has ever done in his life until this exact moment. And now nothing will ever be the same again.

MY LAUGH… – …in this video is incredibly retarded. And I’m extremely proud of it.

A LOT OF PEOPLE ON YOUTUBE… – Think this is a legitimate fan describing an actual event that he took part in. That’s amazing. I don’t know if there’s any other rivalry outside of Yankees/Red Sox that would lead some people to consider this to be real.

RED SOX SUCK! – While I have never seen Yankee fans pee on a family of Red Sox fans at Yankee Stadium I have seen Yankee fans verbally torment them and, in a few cases, douse entire families in beer and hot dogs. It’s always incredibly explicit and demeaning. And there’s always children involved. Also, I’m sure the exact same can be said at Fenway Park in regards to a family of Yankee fans.

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#2

Rejected World Series Memories – Extra Innings

UNANSWERED QUESTION – How did it end???? Who won???? How many people survived???? And, most importantly, did Frank Simmons get fired from his job after missing “his big meeting at work”????

LITTLE KNOWN FACT – Although I’ve always been a New York Mets fan, when I was growing up my favorite baseball player was White Sox first baseman, Frank Thomas. Why? Because he was unstoppable in the 1994 version of the Sega Genesis game, World Series Baseball. No one has seen that kind of pixelated domination since Tecmo Bowl Bo Jackson.

OBVIOUS FACT – Absolutely nothing in my description is accurate after the :09 mark.

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED – Game 3 lasted 14 innings (tied for the longest number of innings in a World Series game with Game 2 of the 1916 World Series) and took 5 hours and 41 Minutes to complete (the longest World Series game in history). The following were records set in the game: the teams combined to use seventeen pitchers (nine for the White Sox, eight for the Astros), throwing a total of 482 pitches, and walking 21 batters combined (a dozen by Chicago, nine by Houston); 43 players were used (the White Sox used 22 and the Astros used 21), and 30 men were left on base (fifteen for each team).

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#3

Rejected Yankee Stadium Memories – Mezzanine

(starring the incredibly talented Jon Gabrus)

FAVORITE PART – The fact that he “cracked the door open a little bit” while he was getting a blowjob in the bathroom so that some random nine year old boys could see it. Awful. And beautiful. Gabrus improvised that line – it’s such a fantastic specific.

LITTLE KNOWN FACT – I never heard someone describe receiving a blowjob as “getting brain” until Gabrus said it. Brilliant.

JANINE CAMPELLO… – … can be seen describing her favorite Yankee Stadium memory HERE.

THAT HAT - Does not fit on his head.

-greg